Quote

One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Travel
Packs
Empties
Natural
Phenomena
Toothpaste
Left
Twisted
Squeezed
Come
Shells
Tube
Self
Trip
Tubes
Great
Planning
Hears
Even
Former
Shell
Cubic
Way
Suddenly
Pack
Millimeter

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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
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