Quote

People who begin sentences with I may be old-fashioned but-- are usually not only old-fashioned but wrong. I never thought the time would come when I should catch myself leading off with that crack. But I feel it coming on right now.

Robert Benchley

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Never
Coming
Crack
Would
Wrong
Cracks
Time
Thought
Leading
People
May
Catch
Come
Aging
Right
Sentences
Feel
Begin
Feels
Usually
Fashioned

More quotes by Robert Benchley

Image
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
Image
The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
Robert Benchley
Image
I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
Robert Benchley
Image
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.
Robert Benchley
Image
Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
Image
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
Image
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley
Image
My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley
Image
Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Robert Benchley
Image
A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
Robert Benchley
Image
Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
Robert Benchley
Image
I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
Robert Benchley
Image
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
Image
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
Image
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley
Image
There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Robert Benchley
Image
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley
Image
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
Image
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley