Quote

My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Bed
Solutions
Stay
Chance
Fall
Problem
Habitual
Even
Solution
Always
Accidents

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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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