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This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Tried
Regulation
Office
Post
Modern
Posts
Anagrams
Known
Officials
Congestion
Funny
Dues
Devised
Night
Table
Offices
Around
Tables
Technically
Really
Series
Regulations

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This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
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Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
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I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
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I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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