Quote

The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Make
Monkey
Men
Remarks
Quote
Monkeys
Stands
Wouldn
Quoted
Sense
Remark
Way
Surest

More quotes by Robert Benchley

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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Robert Benchley
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Robert Benchley
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
Robert Benchley
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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
Robert Benchley
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I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
Robert Benchley
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The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
Robert Benchley
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
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But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
Robert Benchley
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Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
Robert Benchley
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
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One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
Robert Benchley
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
Robert Benchley
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
Robert Benchley
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley