Quote

Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Good
Upper
Like
Shot
Solitude
Shots
Narcotic
Habit
Narcotics
Alone
Travelling
Next
Builder
Nothing
Forming

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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
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I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.
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What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
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I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
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I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
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