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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Golf
Large
Quite
Almost
Distinguishing
Nature
Eggs
Look
Round
Looks
Rounds
Way
Balls
More quotes by Robert Benchley
Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
Robert Benchley
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Robert Benchley
Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
Robert Benchley
If there is a streak of ham anywhere in an actor, Shakespeare will bring it out.
Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley
The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
Robert Benchley
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Benchley
She sleeps alone at last.
Robert Benchley
There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
Robert Benchley
There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Robert Benchley
Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
Robert Benchley
If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley