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I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Really
Honest
Collar
Good
Pretty
Collars
Life
Quite
Throws
Open
Pleasures
Eyes
Admit
Pleasure
Tears
Rousing
Sure
Health
Sneeze
Eye
Hair
Sensational
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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
Robert Benchley
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley