Quote

I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Eyes
Admit
Pleasure
Tears
Rousing
Sure
Health
Sneeze
Eye
Hair
Sensational
Really
Honest
Collar
Good
Pretty
Collars
Life
Quite
Throws
Open
Pleasures

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In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
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Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
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I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.
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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
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A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
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The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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