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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Exotic
Form
Foods
Easiest
Enthusiasm
Forms
Bring
Justice
Pretense
Break
More quotes by Robert Benchley
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley
There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.
Robert Benchley
The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
Robert Benchley
Work is a form of nervousness.
Robert Benchley
There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Robert Benchley
A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
Robert Benchley
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley
The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
Robert Benchley
I don't want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something.... I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason.
Robert Benchley
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
Robert Benchley
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
Robert Benchley
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley