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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Unsatisfactory
Several
Income
Ways
Family
Money
Way
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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