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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Death
Nothing
Remedies
Real
Hangover
Trying
Remedy
Cure
Cures
Comedy
Family

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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
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There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
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Work is a form of nervousness.
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
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