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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Phobias
Phobia
Witty
Humorous
Afraid
Funny
Tell

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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
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Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
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What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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She sleeps alone at last.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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A real hangover is nothing to try out family remedies on. The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
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The naturalistic literature of this country has reached such a state that no family of characters is considered true to life whichdoes not include at least two hypochondriacs, one sadist, and one old man who spills food down the front of his vest.
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