Quote

A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Stills
Stairs
Care
Starts
Still
Twenty
Furnace
May
Twenties
Cellar
Take
Fun
Furnaces
Going
Head
Cellars
Years
Five
Duck
Men
Forget
Ducks

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Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
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I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
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The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
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Anything can happen, but it usually doesn't.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
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You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
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She sleeps alone at last.
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The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
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What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
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This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
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