Quote

We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Nations
Major
Cabs
Free
Door
Cab
Take
Doors
Drum
Men
Nation
Hospitality
Told
Uniform
Comedy
Uniforms
Simply
Hotel
Call
Majors

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Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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I never liked bananas much anyway. Two-thirds of the way down even one banana I am willing to concede defeat smilingly and give the rest to the nearest monkey.
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
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But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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