Quote

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Robert Benchley

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Fall
Neither
Facts
Short
Owing
Humor
Impressive
Comedy
Opponent
Party
Arguments
Talking
Somewhat
Fact
Opponents
Funny
Argument

More quotes by Robert Benchley

Image
Streets full of water. Please Advise.
Robert Benchley
Image
One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
Robert Benchley
Image
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Robert Benchley
Image
Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
Robert Benchley
Image
There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
Robert Benchley
Image
There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
Image
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley
Image
Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
Robert Benchley
Image
Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
Image
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
Image
In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
Robert Benchley
Image
There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley
Image
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
Image
All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
Robert Benchley
Image
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley
Image
A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
Robert Benchley
Image
But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
Robert Benchley
Image
If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
Robert Benchley