Quote

Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.

Robert Benchley

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Comedy
Opponent
Party
Arguments
Talking
Somewhat
Fact
Opponents
Funny
Argument
Fall
Neither
Facts
Short
Owing
Humor
Impressive

More quotes by Robert Benchley

Image
A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley
Image
I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
Robert Benchley
Image
My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley
Image
Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
Image
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley
Image
Streets full of water. Please Advise.
Robert Benchley
Image
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
Robert Benchley
Image
There is no doubt that every healthy, normal boy...should own a dog at some time in his life, preferably between the ages of forty-five and fifty.
Robert Benchley
Image
Except for an occasional heart attack I feel as young as I ever did.
Robert Benchley
Image
The only cure for a real hangover is death.
Robert Benchley
Image
A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
Image
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn't make any sense if quoted as it stands.
Robert Benchley
Image
It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
Robert Benchley
Image
The knocking out of a pipe can be made almost as important as the smoking of it, especially if there are nervous people in the room. A good, smart knock of a pipe against a tin wastebasket and you will have a neurasthenic out of his chair and into the window sash in no time.
Robert Benchley
Image
Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
Robert Benchley
Image
You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Robert Benchley
Image
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley
Image
One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
Robert Benchley
Image
If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
Robert Benchley