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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert Benchley
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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Game
Comedy
Team
Ardent
Games
Supporter
Happens
Teamwork
Matter
Offense
Take
Preparation
Prepared
More quotes by Robert Benchley
Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
Robert Benchley
She sleeps alone at last.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
Robert Benchley
But compared with the task of selecting a piece of French pastry held by an impatient waiter a move in chess is like reaching for a salary check in its demand on the contemplative faculties.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
Robert Benchley
Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
Robert Benchley
One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
Robert Benchley
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Robert Benchley
Every boy should have two things: a dog and a mother who lets him have one
Robert Benchley
My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
Robert Benchley
Work is a form of nervousness.
Robert Benchley
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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I am pretty sure that, if you will be quite honest, you will admit that a good rousing sneeze, one that tears open your collar and throws your hair into your eyes, is really one of life's sensational pleasures.
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The discovery of phobias by psychiatrists has done much to clear the atmosphere. Whereas in the old days a person would say: 'Let's get the heck out of here!' today she says: 'Let's get the heck out of here! I've got claustrophobia.
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There are two ways to travel, first class or with children.
Robert Benchley
Who has not wished that his host would come out frankly at the beginning of the visit and state, in no uncertain terms, the rulesand preferences of the household in such matters as the breakfast hour? And who has not sounded out his guest to find out what he likes in the regulation of his diet and modus vivendi (mode of living)?
Robert Benchley
This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
Robert Benchley