Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
Robert Benchley
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Happens
Teamwork
Matter
Offense
Take
Preparation
Prepared
Game
Comedy
Team
Ardent
Games
Supporter
More quotes by Robert Benchley
The art of cursing people seems to have lost its tang since the old days when a good malediction took four deep breaths to deliverand sent the outfielders scurrying toward the fence to field.
Robert Benchley
Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
Robert Benchley
Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
Robert Benchley
A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
Robert Benchley
You want to go easy on the suicide stuff - first thing you know, you'll ruin your health.
Robert Benchley
One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
Robert Benchley
In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
Robert Benchley
I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
Robert Benchley
In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
Robert Benchley
Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
Robert Benchley
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
Robert Benchley
This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
Robert Benchley
We call ourselves a free nation, and yet we let ourselves be told what cabs we can and can't take by a man at a hotel door, simply because he has a drum major's uniform on.
Robert Benchley
This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
Robert Benchley
Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
Robert Benchley
You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
Robert Benchley
I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
Robert Benchley
There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley
There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
Robert Benchley
Work is a form of nervousness.
Robert Benchley