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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Comedy
Born
Wells
Well
Things
People
Surprised
Constantly

More quotes by Robert Benchley

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In Milwaukee last month a man died laughing over one of his own jokes. That's what makes it so tough for us outsiders. We have to fight home competition.
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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I have often wondered how they manage to get return envelopes which miss, by one-quarter of an inch, fitting the blank you are supposed to return. They say, Please fill out and return the enclosed envelope, and the enclosed envelope is always one-quarter of an inch too small.
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A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
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All laughter is a muscular rigidity spasmodically relieved by involuntary twitching.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
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Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he is supposed be doing at that moment.
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The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man's taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.
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Sheer madness is, of course, the highest possible brow in humor.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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You won't find one fish in a million that has enough sense to come in when it rains.
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At fifteen one is first beginning to realize that everything isn't money and power in this world, and is casting about for joys that do not turn to dross in one's hands.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
Robert Benchley