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Even nowadays a man can't step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Bits
Feeling
Woman
Nowadays
Death
Suicide
Feelings
Kill
Without
Step
Even
Steps
Men
Comedy

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Most of the arguments to which I am party fall somewhat short of being impressive, owing to the fact that neither I nor my opponent knows what we are talking about.
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There is probably no more obnoxious class of citizen, taken end for end, than the returning vacationist.
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times before lying down.
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She sleeps alone at last.
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If Shakespeare were alive today and writing comedy for the movies, he would be the head-liner for the Mack Sennett studios.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
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A man gets on a train with his little boy, and gives the conductor only one ticket. 'How old's your kid?' the conductor says, and the father says, 'He's four years old.' 'He looks at least twelve to me,' says the conductor. And the father says, 'Can I help it if he worries?
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
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Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing.
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I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
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A child of three cannot raise its chubby fist to its mouth to remove a piece of carpet which it is through eating, without being made the subject of a psychological seminar of child-welfare experts, and written up, along with five hundred other children of three who have put their hands to their mouths for the same reason.
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The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him.
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We are constantly being surprised that people did things well before we were born.
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In preparing the soil for planting, you will need several tools. Dynamite would be a beautiful thing to use, but it would have a tendency to get the dirt into the front-hall and track up the stairs.
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What is to be done with people who can't read a Sunday paper without messing it all up?... Show me a Sunday paper which has been left in a condition fit only for kite flying, and I will show you an antisocial and dangerous character who has left it that way.
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