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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Fool
Alcoholism
Drink
Alcoholics
Makes
Liquor
People
Drank
Fools
Alcohol
Compounding
Drinking
Felony
Begin
Drunkenness

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I once heard of a murderer who propped his two victims up against a chess board in sporting attitudes and was able to get as far as Seattle before his crime was discovered.
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Next to an old-fashioned church social, or possibly a monster bridge party, there is no buzz which can equal the sibilant buzz ofa matinée.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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Streets flooded. Please advise.
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Birds which are the same color as the foliage in which they nest are less likely to be disturbed by other birds who want to drop in and chat, and therefore last longer.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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One of the easiest forms of pretense to break down is the pretense of enthusiasm for exotic foods. Just bring on the exotic foods.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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In America there are two classes of travel - first class, and with children.
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Streets full of water. Please Advise.
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
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There are several ways to apportion the family income, all of them unsatisfactory.
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I am both a public and a private school boy myself, having always changed schools just as the class in English in the new school was taking up Silas Marner, with the result that it was the only book in the English language that I knew until I was eighteen--but, boy, did I know Silas Marner!
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Traveling with children corresponds roughly to traveling third class in Bulgaria.
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Dachshunds are ideal dogs for small children, as they are already stretched and pulled to such a length that the child cannot do much harm one way or the other.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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A freelance is one who gets paid by the word -- per piece or perhaps.
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My only solution for the problem of habitual accidents is to stay in bed all day. Even then, there is always the chance that you will fall out.
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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
Robert Benchley