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A boy can learn a lot from a dog: obedience, loyalty, and the importance of turning around three times before lying down.

Robert Benchley

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Robert Benchley
Age: 56 †
Born: 1889
Born: September 15
Died: 1945
Died: November 21
Actor
Humorist
Journalist
Screenwriter
Worcester
Massachusetts
Three
Dog
Around
Importance
Humor
Boys
Lying
Loyalty
Times
Turning
Funny
Obedience
Learn
Humorous

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Tell us your phobias and we will tell you what you are afraid of
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A man may take care of a furnace for twenty-five years and still forget to duck his head when he starts going down the cellar stairs.
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Central Park is the grandiose symbol of the front yard each child in New York hasn't got.
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If you look at eggs, you will see that each one is almost round but not quite ... Nature's way of distinguishing eggs from large golf balls.
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It was one of those plays in which all of the actors unfortunately enunciated very clearly.
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One cubic foot less of space and it would have constituted adultery.
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It has always seemed to me that the most difficult part of building a bridge would be the start.
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Most personal correspondence of today consists of letters the first half of which are given over to an indexed statement of why the writer hasn't written before, followed by one paragraph of small talk, with the remainder devoted to reasons why it is imperative that the letter be brought to a close.
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Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a 'builder-upper.
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One of the great natural phenomena is the way in which a tube of toothpaste suddenly empties itself when it hears that you are planning a trip, so that when you come to pack it is just a twisted shell of its former self, with not even a cubic millimeter left to be squeezed out.
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If Mr. Einstein doesn't like the natural laws of the universe, let him go back to where he came from.
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Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with that it's compounding a felony.
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Sunday morning may be cheery enough, with its extra cup of coffee and litter of Sunday newspapers, but there is always hanging over it the ominous threat of 3 P.M., when the sun gets around to the back windows and life stops dead in its tracks.
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There is a note in the front of the volume saying that no public reading may be given without first getting the author's permission. It ought to be made much more difficult to do than that.
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For a nation which has an almost evil reputation for bustle, bustle, bustle, and rush, rush, rush, we spend an enormous amount of time standing around in line in front of windows, just waiting.
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An ardent supporter of the hometown team should go to a game prepared to take offense, no matter what happens.
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This congestion in the post offices is due to what are technically known as regulations but what are really a series of acrostics and anagrams devised by some officials who got around a table one night and tried to be funny.
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The only cure for a real hangover is death.
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There seems to be a common strain of miserliness in the American people when it comes to throwing away toothpaste tubes which havea little left in the bottom.
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This is a test. It is only a test. Had it been an actual job, you would have received raises, promotions, and other signs of appreciation.
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