Quote

In the ambiguity and shifting playing field of adult life, I often wish I could just fill in a dot and have someone say “Yes” and hand me a chicken leg, or “No” and slap me with an old fish.

Rob Delaney

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Rob Delaney
Age: 47
Born: 1977
Born: January 19
Actor
Comedian
Television Actor
Marblehead
Massachusetts
Fields
Chickens
Playing
Adult
Hand
Fish
Wish
Fishes
Dots
Often
Fill
Slap
Hands
Legs
Ambiguity
Someone
Field
Chicken
Life
Adults
Shifting

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I'm endlessly fascinated by parenting, marriage, my wife and the ins and outs of marriage.
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The danger for a comedian on Twitter is the same danger that any civilian faces: sometimes you gotta put that phone down and go live your life. When you're on Twitter, you're not living, and if you're not living, you're not taking in stimuli with which you can create new material.
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I think your ambition for something changes as you go.
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Well, Mitt Romney is a very attractive comedic target. He’s irresistible to me. I mean seriously, I want to pay less attention to him.
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Don't even FRONT like you love your family, America, or God, if you don't have a DETAILED & REHEARSED Black Friday tactical shopping plan.
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Politicians, it's in their job description to just lie, every day.
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A long-term relationship is about showing up and working hard and banking on each other. If one's down, the other might be up and can help the other one up, and sometimes you're both down and you just [band] together. Endurance is a big theme of it for me. That might not sound romantic, but I kind of think that it is.
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Comedians who are 22 years old can certainly be funny and clever, and be capable of telling jokes - but are they talking about their favorite TV shows, or a particular brand of shampoo?
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In high school, I definitely fancied myself an intense guy, which is so lame.
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If you have an opinion on what other adults do consensually with other adults when they take their pants off, you're a weirdo.
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I had always loved comedy, and acted out Steve Martin and Bill Cosby albums with my sister for my parents on road trips and stuff, and I loved to laugh and make people laugh.
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I'm a comedian at the beginning and the end of the day. I'm not affiliated with any campaign, nor do I generally find politics interesting enough to plan to be involved.
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I'm crazy about Shakespeare, who was a notorious word inventor. And my wife is an English teacher, and she's hilarious.
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It's probably not love if you don't press your face to the toilet seat after they've used it to feel their warmth.
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I use Twitter as a tool to get involved with people, to sell tickets to gigs where I can stand in a room and smell the audience - and I love that!
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I love gay people. Or as I sometimes call them, 'people.'
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In real life, I am alarmingly boring.
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But I also know in standup, there's nowhere to hide. You get on stage and you deliver, or you are eviscerated and you are thrown into a pile of bodies at the bottom of a mountain.
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I hate wearing suits and ties.
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I no longer believe in freedom of speech.
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