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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Young
Care
Take
Children
Even
Sufficient
Although
Father
Mother

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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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