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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Care
Take
Children
Even
Sufficient
Although
Father
Mother
Young

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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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