Quote

One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Office
Jobs
Firsts
First
Envelopes
Cleaning
Windows
Brown
Window

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
Image
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
Image
Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
Image
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
Image
All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
Image
When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
Image
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
Image
No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
Rita Rudner
Image
I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
Image
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
Image
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
Image
A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner