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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
First
Envelopes
Cleaning
Windows
Brown
Window
Office
Jobs
Firsts

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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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