Quote

Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Expensive
Horror
Expression
Menu
Faces
Menus
Didn
Expressions
Different
Restaurant
Going
Prices
Restaurants

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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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