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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
People
Rings
Phones
Answer
Answers
Wife
Law
Think
Wives
Thinking
Phone

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
Rita Rudner