Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Difficulty
Helping
May
Husband
Need
Relationship
Needs
Sleep
Talk
Getting
Help
Words
More quotes by Rita Rudner
If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner
I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
Rita Rudner
Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
Rita Rudner
Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner
Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner