Quote

If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Talk
Getting
Help
Words
Helping
Difficulty
Husband
May
Relationship
Need
Sleep
Needs

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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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