Quote

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Parent
Bought
Think
Guy
Experienced
Thinking
Pain
Glad
Like
Anything
Prepared
Better
Husband
Earring
Looks
Marriage
Earrings
Mean
Parents
Jewelry
Really
Already
Regular

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner