Quote

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Better
Husband
Earring
Looks
Marriage
Earrings
Mean
Parents
Jewelry
Really
Already
Regular
Men
Parent
Bought
Think
Guy
Experienced
Thinking
Pain
Glad
Like
Anything
Prepared

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner