Quote

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Like
Anything
Prepared
Better
Husband
Earring
Looks
Marriage
Earrings
Mean
Parents
Jewelry
Really
Already
Regular
Men
Parent
Bought
Think
Guy
Experienced
Thinking
Pain
Glad

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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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