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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Better
Husband
Earring
Looks
Marriage
Earrings
Mean
Parents
Jewelry
Really
Already
Regular
Men
Parent
Bought
Think
Guy
Experienced
Thinking
Pain
Glad
Like
Anything
Prepared
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
Rita Rudner
