Quote

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Really
Already
Regular
Men
Parent
Bought
Think
Guy
Experienced
Thinking
Pain
Glad
Like
Anything
Prepared
Better
Husband
Earring
Looks
Marriage
Earrings
Mean
Parents
Jewelry

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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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