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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Mature
Younger
Men
Marry

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
Rita Rudner
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
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Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner