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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Marry
Mature
Younger
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
Rita Rudner
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I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
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I don't like when there's too much conversation because I'm shy and it makes me uncomfortable.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
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Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
Rita Rudner
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner