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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Mature
Younger
Men
Marry
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Never take candy from strangers.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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I had the most boring office job in the world...I used to clean the windows on envelopes.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner