Quote

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Feels
Gained
Trying
Tries
Something
Assume
Shrunk
Men
Assuming
Closet
Weight
Closets
Humor
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Woman
Tight

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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I never know what to get my father for his birthday. I gave him a hundred dollars and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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