Quote

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Gained
Feels
Trying
Tries
Shrunk
Something
Assume
Closet
Men
Assuming
Closets
Weight
Clothings
Humor
Clothing
Funny
Tight
Woman

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
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