Quote

When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Weight
Closets
Humor
Clothings
Funny
Clothing
Woman
Tight
Feels
Gained
Tries
Trying
Assume
Shrunk
Something
Assuming
Closet
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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