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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Woman
Bathroom
Understand
Suit
Men
Worn
Suits
Wearing
Complicated
Humor
Funny
Skis

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
Rita Rudner