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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Spit
Classical
Tend
Listen
Humor
Funny
Music
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
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I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner