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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Spit
Classical
Tend
Listen
Humor
Funny
Music

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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The way a man looks at himself in a mirror will tell you if he can ever care about anyone else.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
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Envy the kangaroo. That pouch setup is extraordinary the baby crawls out of the womb when it is about two inches long, gets into the pouch, and proceeds to mature. I'd have a baby if it would develop in my handbag.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner