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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Asked
Humor
Lose
Loses
Tennis
Funny
Beat
Hate
Beats
Going
Sex
Men
Husband

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If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
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