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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Going
Sex
Men
Husband
Asked
Humor
Lose
Loses
Tennis
Funny
Beat
Hate
Beats

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
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Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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Men would like monogamy better if it sounded less like monotony.
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There are different kinds of humor, some is sarcastic, some introspective. Introspective fit my personality better.
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Never take candy from strangers.
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner