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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Hate
Beats
Going
Sex
Men
Husband
Asked
Humor
Lose
Loses
Tennis
Funny
Beat
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
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To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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The time you spend grieving over a man should never exceed the amount of time you actually spent with him
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
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