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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Love
Fulfilled
Car
Humor
Team
Winning
Funny
Introspective
Women
Creatively
Men
Emotionally

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
Rita Rudner
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I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
Rita Rudner
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
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The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.
Rita Rudner
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
Rita Rudner
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
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My father was never very friendly. When I was growing up, I thought the doorbell ringing was a signal to pretend you weren't home.
Rita Rudner
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner