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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Love
Fulfilled
Car
Humor
Team
Winning
Funny
Introspective
Women
Creatively
Men
Emotionally

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
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My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
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Men accept compliments much better than women do. Example: Mitch, you look great. Mitch: Thanks. On the other side: Ruth, you look great. Ruth: I do? Must be the lighting.
Rita Rudner
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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Men hate to lose. I once beat my husband at tennis. I asked him, Are we going to have sex again? He said, Yes, but not with each other.
Rita Rudner
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I get so happy when I write a joke. It's a very satisfying, liberating feeling.
Rita Rudner
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner