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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Together
Men
Humor
Sports
Four
Talk
Funny

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
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Men who consistently leave the toilet seat up secretly want women to get up to go the bathroom in the middle of the night and fall in.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
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When I eventually met Mr. Right I had no idea that his first name was Always.
Rita Rudner
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I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
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Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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If your husband has difficulty getting to sleep, the words 'we need to talk about our relationship' may help.
Rita Rudner
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Men like to barbecue. Men will cook if danger is involved.
Rita Rudner