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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Men
Humor
Sports
Four
Talk
Funny
Together

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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It takes six months to get into shape and two weeks to get out of shape. Once you know this you can stop being angry about other things in life and only be angry about this.
Rita Rudner
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
Rita Rudner
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All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
Rita Rudner
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
Rita Rudner
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My cousin just got married for the totally wrong reasons. She married a man for money. She wasn't real subtle about it. Instead of calling him her fiancé, she kept calling him her financee.
Rita Rudner
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
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After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
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Men have higher body temperatures than women. If your heating goes out in winter, I recommend sleeping next to a man. Men are like portable heaters that snore.
Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
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My father watched football with the sound off because he lived in fear of hearing the voice of Howard Cosell.
Rita Rudner
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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
Rita Rudner
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Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
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I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
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Men like phones with lots of buttons. It makes them feel important.
Rita Rudner
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I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
Rita Rudner
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Men don't feel the urge to get married as quickly as women do because their clothes all button and zip in the front. Women's dresses usually button and zip in the back. We need men emotionally and sexually, but we also need men to help us get dressed.
Rita Rudner