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When four or more men get together, they talk about sports.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Humor
Sports
Four
Talk
Funny
Together
Men

More quotes by Rita Rudner

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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
Rita Rudner
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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Most women are introspective: Am I in love? Am I emotionally and creatively fulfilled? Most men are outrospective: Did my team win? How's my car?
Rita Rudner
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
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Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
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Los Angeles is a very transient town. It's the only place I know where you can actually rent a dog.
Rita Rudner
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
Rita Rudner
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
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Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
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I had no desire to be a stand-up comic until I decided to do it.
Rita Rudner
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I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult.
Rita Rudner
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
Rita Rudner
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
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All men look at Dr. Ruth and wonder how she has gained all that sexual experience.
Rita Rudner
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How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue...and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake? Where does the glue go?
Rita Rudner
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My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
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I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
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I have too many credit cards. You know what happened? Someone stole one and I didn't notice. I noticed when I got that bill. Whoa! It was so much less! I'm letting him keep it. I'm saving money!
Rita Rudner
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
Rita Rudner