Quote

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Player
Cheerleader
Team
Outfits
Year
Shorts
Funny
Teams
Every
Players
Years
Basketball
Men
Humor
Cheerleaders
Longer
Tighter

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Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
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Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
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I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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Not one man in a beer commercial has a beerbelly.
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No man is charming all of the time. Even Cary Grant is on record saying he wished he could be Cary Grant.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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Halloween was confusing. All my life my parents said, Never take candy from strangers. And then they dressed me up and said, Go beg for it. I didn't know what to do. I'd knock on people's doors and go, Trick or treat.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
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