Quote

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Rita Rudner

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Player
Cheerleader
Team
Outfits
Year
Shorts
Funny
Teams
Every
Players
Years
Basketball
Men
Humor
Cheerleaders
Longer
Tighter

More quotes by Rita Rudner

Image
Why are women wearing perfumes that smell like flowers to attract men? Men don't like flowers. I have a great idea for a scent that will attract men - how about New Car Interior?
Rita Rudner
Image
I just don't get cats. To me, they're a waste of fur.
Rita Rudner
Image
My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Image
Neurotics build castles in the air, psychotics live in them. My mother cleans them.
Rita Rudner
Image
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
Rita Rudner
Image
One of my first office jobs was cleaning the windows on brown envelopes.
Rita Rudner
Image
After you've dated someone it should be legal to stamp them with what's wrong with them so the next person doesn't have to start from scratch.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men reach their sexual peak at eighteen. Women reach theirs at thirty-five. Do you get the feeling that God is playing a practical joke?
Rita Rudner
Image
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
Image
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
Image
I don't look back. I'm like a shark - I only look forward.
Rita Rudner
Image
My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
Image
Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
Image
Men don't mature. Marry a younger one.
Rita Rudner
Image
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
Image
Men have an easier time buying bathing suits. Women have two types: depressing and more depressing. Men have two types: nerdy and not nerdy.
Rita Rudner