Quote

Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.

Rita Rudner

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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Teams
Every
Players
Years
Basketball
Men
Humor
Cheerleaders
Longer
Tighter
Player
Cheerleader
Team
Outfits
Year
Shorts

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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven't made a mistake.
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My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
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I get a lot of return business. I think it's all those years I put in traveling around the country people saw me before and had a good time so they want to see me again.
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My Vegas act is how I make my money.
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I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
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Men who listen to classical music tend not to spit.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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My grandmother was a very tough woman. She buried three husbands and two of them were just napping.
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When a woman tries on clothing from her closet that feels tight, she will assume she has gained weight. When a man tries something from his closet that feels tight, he will assume the clothing has shrunk.
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I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
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I suffer from peroxide phobia. Every time I've gotten near a blond woman, something of mine has disappeared. Jobs, boyfriends... one time an angora sweater leaped right off my body.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
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I don't think jogging is healthy, especially morning jogging. If morning joggers knew how tempting they looked to morning motorists, they would stay home and do sit-ups.
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Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
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An amicable divorce is like a ventilated condom it just doesn't work.
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Men don't live well by themselves. They don't even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.
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