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Men own basketball teams. Every year cheerleaders' outfits get tighter and briefer, and players' shorts get baggier and longer.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Funny
Teams
Every
Players
Years
Basketball
Men
Humor
Cheerleaders
Longer
Tighter
Player
Cheerleader
Team
Outfits
Year
Shorts
More quotes by Rita Rudner
Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
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My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
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A good place to meet a man is at the dry cleaner. These men usually have jobs and bathe.
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Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
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Before I met my husband, I'd never fallen in love. I'd stepped in it a few times.
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Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
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I burned sixty calories. That should take care of a peanut I had in 1962.
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Some women hold up dresses that are so ugly and they always say the same thing: 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
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I read recipes the same way I read science fiction. I get to the end and say to myself well, that's not going to happen
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Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
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Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
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Men are self-confident because they grow up identifying with super-heroes. Women have bad self-images because they grow up identifying with Barbie.
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I'll never understand why people go to movie theaters to have conversations. Going to the movies to talk is like going to a restaurant to cook. The idea is that you have paid your money to have someone do something better than you can do it yourself.
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If you like easygoing, monogamous men, stay away from billionaires.
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When you're a dancer, you start with the basics. You don't all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.
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I work for myself, which is fun. Except when I call in sick, I know I'm lying.
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We've begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet - so we bought a dog. Well, it's cheaper, and you get more feet.
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My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
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I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
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Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
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