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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Fire
Lasts
Burn
Last
Personally
Funny
Sensitive
Doe
Built
Take
Humor
Way
Strange
Men
Ways
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
You know the oxygen masks on airplanes? I don't think there's really any oxygen. I think they're just to muffle the screams.
Rita Rudner
Life is tough enough without having someone kick you from the inside.
Rita Rudner
I adore being hitched. It's so extraordinary to discover one unique individual you need to irritate for whatever remains of your life.
Rita Rudner
I hate learning through experience. Just once I'd like to learn something because someone was nice enough to tell me in advance.
Rita Rudner
My new dress. Do you like it? It's from my favorite designer, On Sale.
Rita Rudner
I have been doing leg lifts faithfully for about fifteen years, and the only thing that has gotten thinner is the carpet where I have been doing the leg lifts.
Rita Rudner
My husband gave me a necklace. It's fake. I requested fake. Maybe I'm paranoid, but in this day and age, I don't want something around my neck that's worth more than my head.
Rita Rudner
Thirty, I really like you but I still have to see other people.
Rita Rudner
If I say a joke and the audience laughs it makes me feel good.
Rita Rudner
You know it's love when you want to keep holding hands even after you're sweaty.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
I love to write jokes and that's all I think about.
Rita Rudner
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
Going out to eat is expensive. I was out at one restaurant and they didn't have prices on the menu. Just faces with different expressions of horror.
Rita Rudner
I was a ballerina. I had to quit after I injured a groin muscle. It wasn't mine.
Rita Rudner
Never take candy from strangers.
Rita Rudner
Someday I want to be rich. Some people get so rich they lose all respect for humanity. That's how rich I want to be.
Rita Rudner
Men do cry, but only when assembling furniture.
Rita Rudner
I loved my mother very much, but she was not a good cook. Most turkeys taste better the day after my mother's tasted better the day before. In our house Thanksgiving was a time for sorrow.
Rita Rudner
