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Men are sensitive in strange ways. If a man has built a fire and the last log does not burn, he will take it personally.
Rita Rudner
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Rita Rudner
Age: 71
Born: 1953
Born: September 17
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Screenwriter
Voice Actor
Miami
Florida
Fire
Lasts
Burn
Last
Personally
Funny
Sensitive
Doe
Built
Take
Humor
Way
Strange
Men
Ways
More quotes by Rita Rudner
I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.
Rita Rudner
I don't want to push the envelope. Let the envelope stay in the middle of the table. I'll just make you laugh.
Rita Rudner
I want to have children, but my friends scare me. One of my friends told me she was in labor for 36 hours. I don't even want to do anything that feels good for 36 hours.
Rita Rudner
Wives are people who think it's against the law not to answer the phone when it rings.
Rita Rudner
My Vegas act is how I make my money.
Rita Rudner
My boyfriend and I broke up. He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
Rita Rudner
Be careful of men who are bald and rich the arrogance of rich usually cancels out the nice of bald.
Rita Rudner
I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.
Rita Rudner
Men are brave enough to go to war, but they are not brave enough to get a bikini wax.
Rita Rudner
Men do not like to admit to even momentary imperfection. My husband forgot the code to turn off the alarm. When the police came, he wouldn't admit he'd forgotten the code... he turned himself in.
Rita Rudner
Men who are going bald often wear baseball caps.
Rita Rudner
Women take clothing much more seriously than men. I've never seen a man walk into a party and say Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed get me out of here. There's another man wearing a black tuxedo.
Rita Rudner
Only men who have worn a ski suit understand how complicated it is for a woman to go to the bathroom when she's wearing a jumpsuit.
Rita Rudner
Yes, I've now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it's a lower case l.
Rita Rudner
A saleslady holds up an ugly dress and says, 'This looks much better on.' On what? On fire?
Rita Rudner
I love to shop after a bad relationship. I don't know. I buy a new outfit and it makes me feel better. It just does. Sometimes I see a really great outfit, I'll break up with someone on purpose.
Rita Rudner
Waiters and waitresses are becoming nicer and much more caring. I used to pay my check, they would say Thank you. That's now escalated into You care care of yourself, now. The other day I paid my check and the waiter said, Don't put off that mammogram.
Rita Rudner
All men think that they're nice guys. Some of them are not. Contact me for a list of names.
Rita Rudner
Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage - they've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Rita Rudner
I want to have young children although my mother and father are even now young sufficient to just take care of them.
Rita Rudner
